The first meeting between a family and a carer matters. It sets the tone for trust, comfort, and clarity. It is also where small misunderstandings can begin if expectations are not discussed early.
This checklist helps both sides feel prepared. It is not about making things formal or cold. It is about making care feel safe, clear, and respectful from the start.
Before the meeting: what families can prepare
A first meeting goes better when the home and expectations feel organised. You do not need to make everything perfect. You just need to make it clear.
Prepare:
- A short summary of support needed (daily living, companionship, mobility, meal prep, medication reminders if relevant)
- Routine notes (wake time, meals, preferred activities, triggers or anxieties)
- Safety information (stairs, pets, allergies, mobility equipment)
- Emergency contacts
- Any house rules (shoes off, quiet time, privacy areas)
If your loved one can participate, include them. It helps the carer connect directly, and it helps your loved one feel respected.
Before the meeting: what carers can prepare
Carers do not need to arrive with a sales pitch. The goal is professionalism, warmth, and clarity.
Prepare:
- A clear idea of what support you can offer within your skills
- Questions to understand the home, routines, and expectations
- Any documents families may request to see (DBS, references, qualifications)
- A calm, confident explanation of how you communicate updates
It also helps to reflect on your boundaries before you arrive, so you can speak clearly if asked to do tasks outside your role.
During the meeting: connection first
Start with a simple introduction. Many people receiving care feel nervous. The carer’s tone can reduce anxiety quickly.
A good opening:
- Greet the person receiving care first
- Ask how they like to be addressed
- Speak directly to them, not only to the family
- Keep your voice calm and unhurried
Families can help by framing the meeting as a conversation, not a test.
Essential topics to cover
These are the topics that prevent confusion later.
- Support tasks
- What help is needed day to day?
- Which tasks are priorities?
- Which tasks are not needed?
- Schedule and timing
- Start and end times
- Frequency
- What happens if someone is late or needs to change a time
- Communication
- Who receives updates, and how often
- What counts as urgent
- Best contact method
- Safety
- Mobility support needs
- Emergency plan
- Any behaviours that may appear during stress or confusion
- Privacy and dignity
- How personal care will be handled
- How consent is respected
- What makes the person feel comfortable
Questions families should ask carers
These questions reveal both experience and approach:
- What kind of support do you feel most confident providing?
- How do you handle a difficult moment respectfully?
- How do you keep care consistent?
- What do you do if something changes in a person’s condition?
- What helps you build trust with a new family?
Questions carers should ask families
These questions help carers deliver better care:
- What does a good day look like here?
- What usually triggers stress or discomfort?
- Are there preferred routines or cultural preferences?
- What does “support” mean for you as a family?
- How do you want updates to be shared?
Agree the first shift plan
Before the meeting ends, confirm what will happen on the first shift. Keep it realistic.
Agree:
- The exact time and duration
- The top three tasks for the first shift
- What the carer should do if the person refuses support
- How the family wants to receive a short update
A simple first shift plan builds confidence fast.
Red flags to watch for
Not every mismatch is anyone’s fault. Sometimes it is just not the right fit. It is better to notice early.
Possible red flags:
- The carer rushes, speaks over the person, or dismisses preferences
- The family expects tasks outside a carer’s role without discussion
- Communication feels unclear or inconsistent
- Boundaries are ignored early
- The person receiving care feels unsafe or uncomfortable
Green flags to look for
These signs usually predict a steady care relationship:
- The carer is present, calm, and respectful
- The carer asks thoughtful questions
- The family communicates clearly and kindly
- Everyone agrees on tasks and timing
- The person receiving care is included and listened to
Closing thought
The first meeting is not about perfection. It is about building a safe foundation. When expectations are clear, communication is steady, and dignity is protected, care becomes something you can rely on. One good conversation can change the entire experience for families, carers, and the person at the centre of it all.